Feminine Strength in Surrender: Being Present, Being a Warrior of Sensuality

A woman watches. A woman is a subtle hunter. The True Temptress is the True Huntress. Did you know thousands of years ago men were not the hunters in society—women were.

the beautiful, powerful Body Scientist Makeda Voletta speaks often about indigenous Women hunters....

Why is this? Women have a unique proclivity towards stillness and surrender to spirit as well as subtle energies. This is why in churches, mosques, and temples, women far outnumber men. Women are more fluid, emotional, and spiritual. The woman’s essence, known across all cultures and tribes, is water—most commonly referred to as yin. The male fire is Yang. Women represent coolness which is the true key to femininity. Allow yourself to receive and give service. [distinguish submission from surrender and service from slavery…e.g. Mary Magdalene]



Presentness, allowing yourself to just Be. That is the true art of femininity.

A man loves a woman just Being. When you’re not worried about being the active (read: HOT, aggressive) energy of performing for a man, trying to get his attention, you are your most womanly self. Don’t worry about whether your hair flips enough or whether your hips sway hard enough to switch—men notice this though they’ll never tell you. As a woman who has always had more male friends than female friends, I’ve gleaned into the secret mind of men. Men look, not for the super booty-jiggling, ground shaking Switch, but for a woman’s natural walk. That “Naomi Campbell Walk” or Beyonce’s Sasha Fierce strut? Wonderful, empowering, yes indeed. But it’s more for show, for exaggeration more for us—other females—really, to remind us of our femininity through hyperfeminine display.

Exaggerration itself is a form of boasting. It too means to “make bigger” and to try to make something bigger or yourself bigger is a masculine aptitude. Notice men always seem to live by the phrase “bigger is better”—bigger cars, bigger buildings, bigger penises, bigger hamburgers….for women the phrase should be “smaller is better” and smaller taken to mean More Humble. Humility and Compassion are women’s true virtues and abilities that men struggle to cultivate while these maternal instincts are in us naturally, automatically. A woman naturally feels no need to boast or scramble for attention with grand gestures—a true woman (proverbs 31) does without asking acknowledgement because a true woman in her true nature, will receive praise from everyone around her. Because a woman is the true glue that holds a relationship, a family, a community, together. She is the one who prays, who dreams, who creates, who cleans, who nourishes through delicious and healing foods, who brings everything in harmony by keeping an organized home and sweeping away demons and negative, stale energies with a sweet song or deep humming.

Back to Being. Have you ever noticed for centuries artists, painters, and photographers have many more pictures of women than men? More than that, artists much more often portray women fluid rather than contrived. This means you’ll more likely find a picture of a woman just sitting, muscles relaxed, staring into a ray of sunlight on a green lawn, or playing with a parasol, or lying—languishing—on a bed of crisp white sheets a la Marilyn Monroe. Men, on the other hand, are depicted in a fantasy scenario of war or fighting or jumping, running, something strenuous, highly active.



Just as a river is not completely still or frozen, a woman is not cold or stagnant. On the contrary a woman is warm, deep, and constantly curving, changing subtly, trickling, bubbling. But the activity of a man to a woman is the difference between a wolf chasing and biting at your heels to a dog gently licking your palm. They are both in motion, acting, but to two very diverse degrees.

The man’s energy is active….activity produces manifestation. The woman’s energy is potential and potentially expanding with appropriate stimulus: hence the sperm’s “activation”, germination, or fertilization of the woman’s egg which [potentially] already carries all the necessary information and encoding necessary for the human being and soul soon to be conceived and birthed.

This is why the white tigress takes that masculine energy into her—first by coyly activating it through her fluid feminine energy—by raising up the man’s sexual energy by keeping him in constant arousal (and, by virtue of her performing oral on him, leaving him free and surrendered where he won’t be performing as he would when moving inside a woman’s yoni) and delaying his gratification by delaying orgasm again and again, giving it more built up power and then directing it upon his orgasmic release into the manifestation of frequency elevation. This is why the white tigress does not “waste” her energy by engaging in intercourse with man—because, by allowing the male to enter her yoni and manipulating it, a complex exchange of energy transpires which still requires an exertion of the woman’s energy and in the wrong hands or the wrong man cause a woman to feel “drained” by the men in her life who use her energy consciously or unconsciously, using her “shining”* [beloved reference and quote]…the white tigress sucks his energy and directs it like a funnel into the universe or within her body to nourish the aura and essentially leave the physical more youthful or vibrant (because, essentially, as one ages, the deterioration of mind and body through the ravages of environment, pollution, and stress, manifest in wrinkles or sagging or even memory lapses and the like—all of this comes essentially from years of energy drainage and lack of circulation of electricity or ashe that is vital to our physical form and mirrors the lack of spiritual electricity in our auric bodies and the increased dulling of our glowing, our light which is the higher frequency of love. [again Beloved’s shining and Oshun’s gold…alchemy of the “old man” to the “spirit man” of white light or the “heart of gold”…white gold, etherium gold]

Scandal, Red Letter Day, and Scarlet Women, Scarlet Letters

Indecency is a thing of measure, a thing of relativity, as is scandal. The sacred and profane are no one’s to define or distinguish. There are such things as violations of energetic laws, rather than Laws of Man or even Laws of God; there are transgressions of universal laws, such as Gravity. Many wish to fly and never to fall.



Transgressors are those who would take a life in its abundance of energy, breath and blood, and would dare to believe their own life will not someday surely be taken in kind. Some talk about “sin”, when it is in actuality one’s refusal in any given moment to be controlled or dominated by fear— fear of a deception given the name God, fear of an authoritative system or tyrannical government, or fear of loss of one’s own control. Self Accountability is the highest Grace, and that is one’s Salvation. Salvation comes when one does not harm another or themselves, when one truly Loves another as well as Oneself, not because they fear the illusion of a hell or external punishment but because they cultivate the God of Compassion and the Nurturing Mother of Nature within themselves.



Salvation is not found groveling as a slave at the feet of a butcher, grotesquely spilling His alleged Son’s blood over masses of the unthinking, the unquestioning. Salvation instead is found in the bosom of the Mother within that crowns us all with royalty, showing us the mirror that reflects our most glorious selves and sweetly admonishes not to shed the blood of any, because the bloodshed of one’s brother is one’s own bloodshed. True Life-Giving Spirituality is found where a Mother comforts and reassures us we are beautiful and powerful; True damnation-dealing Religion is found cowering before a sadistic, castrated and vehement “father” that curses us and makes us believe we are dirty, guilty, and weak.

You got me Wide Open....

"Sweet Love/got me callin' out your name/ and I feel no shame..."
--Anita Baker

Being a mother, there's alot I learn from my children, lessons of reflection in which a mother recognizes her misdeeds through her children. When we were young our mothers would say "aight now, your child's gon end up being that way with you"...and we didn't believe it. Ha ha.

Also lessons of freedom--ecstasy at just one's toes being touched, boundless laughter incited by the wiggling of a nose, waking up smiling every morning for no particular reason, not caring or worrying about anything, immediately and contentedly adaptable, completely without judgement. If my child does not shame me, what makes me think my ancestors are ashamed of me? Live your life in ways that make your children proud and your ancestors will be proud.

Children teach us a great deal of things about fearlessness: Yesterday I watched my adventurous, acrobatic, always laughing daughter fall off the bed. She cried more out of being startled at the actual fall than really hurt by it. After I smiled at her, she smiled back as if she’d never been hurt.

Our hearts must be just as the child: open, without fear or expectation of hurt. We must Love as if we’ve never been hurt before, treat each new person we meet by the virtue of their first impression, not making assumptions based on what other people did or how they behaved previously. Jesus implores us in the Bible to be “child-like”. This, mind you, is not to be understood, interpreted, or considered the same as childish, rather trusting, open, loving, as children are. The Heart Open to Love again and again, no matter how much it has beeen hurt or how many times stabbed, this is the true Mystery of Christ's and Mary's Sacred Heart burning.



Babies, with their fatty, flexible, pliable bodies, surprisingly are proven get hurt less because they don’t expect to. Simple as that. As human, the more we grow “older”, the more we program ourselves to fear: meaning, as we get older, because we have felt the pain of getting a scraped knee or the sting of a slap, we build up more body armoring (see: Kinsey and Dr. Wilhelm Reich) subconsciously that causes us to withdraw to ever so miniscule degrees. A baby, fresh into the world, we must remember, has never felt anything before. Everything is new. Every sensation is its first time. So babies do not expect to fall, they don’t expect to be rejected, to fail, they never expect you to drop them or hurt them.



When you expect a blow or a sensation of pain, you tense up automatically. Psychological studies have proven that many times the mind sends messages to the body of sensations of pain before a person actually comes into contact with the object supposed to hurt it! Did you know the brain may trick you into feeling the prick of a needle at the doctor’s office before it even breaks the skin, especially if you are particularly and obsessively terrified by it? It is the same even for many women during sex who have been abused, molested, and had rough, painful intercourse with men before: their bodies and wombs clench up and body amouring occurs wherein orgasm and healing is never achieved. If we relax and be open, that is the child-like way to find Ecstasy. There are many love songs that proclaim “Girl, you got me open” “boy, my nose wide open”…..notice these terms describe that sense of letting go that is so fundamental to Oshun’s Love and Her flowing, watery, feminine nature. Being Open is so vital, opening up to achieve orgasm, that many tantric teachers admonish men to massage a woman for hours before intercourse just to loosen the muscles from literally years of unconscious, unacknowledged tension all over the body and in the womb.

When women come into sexual union with their Divine Mates, if he is truly your King-Man to respect and honor you and understands your history of abuse, ladies be not afraid to open yourself to him completely like the blooming flower. That’s the thing: true sex and orgasm is made Divine between two REAL, trusting partners in a state of Heart-led connecting and understanding. However, most men and women these days engage in casual sex with strangers they can’t trust and therefore cheat themselves. When you find a man that is worthy and has shown you true affection and you know after time tried and tested that you can trust him, that is the time you will be ready to engage in Sacred Lovemaking with him and not a moment before. SO many women rush into sharing their bodies with vultures, swine, dogs, and vampires of men who drain and degrade them without taking the time to know them. Women must realize it is okay to be alone, it is even okay to explore your own body alone in Ecstatic Self-Pleasure until you have properly found and tested the Right Mate. Don’t feel so “horny” or so anxious for sex that you say “girl, I just got to have it” and just go out and give it up to the first man that winks your way. Pamper and love YOURSELF even if it is weeks or months you may be getting to know a gentleman. Perform your sacred bath rituals, meditations, orgasmic yoga, self touch and self massage rituals, or go out to a spa, go shopping, all of the things that make you feel like the Queen you are with no one else around. While you have been busy giving all this love to yourself, you have also shown the man you are getting to know how much you are worth and how much love you deserve. Then, after patience, you can comfortably and openly trust him to engage in Sacred Lovemaking when he has finally shown himself worthy through courtship and you have gotten to know your own body enough to know how to teach him what pleases you. And you can be sure that when you finally do Open to him, you will have that fullness of child-like, Open Love that will enable you to trust him just as if no man had ever hurt you before.

The Dehli Woman Prayer and dedication to my fellow Female Virgos

This morning, I watched the BBC program India: A Dangerous Place To Be A Woman.



I wept within the first 5 minutes of the program, feeling unbearably nauseous and feeling my womb literally clench up from the inside. I immediately ran sobbing to my Oshun shrine, praying for the healing of this woman, for even Frida Kahlo, raped by that rail; for Karrine "lubricated with soap", for Marilyn, raped by the same doctor who aborted her babies and sterilized her; for Harriet Jacobs; for Aileen Wuornos; for Teena Brandon....for all women raped, defiled, tortured, impaled, for all those tender strong legs ripped open, all those cut and bruised knees cocked up at 45 degree angles in straps, stirrups, and ropes like animals, propped up on exam tables, hospital beds, jail cots, even diabolical altars....Glass Table Girls...


"behind closed doors they get poles so rigid"


"they put a car jack inside her..."


Men, with their juvenile destructive fascination with sticking things in holes...


I wept and asked, "Oshun, is that not why you exist? To stop things like this?"


and She told me very clearly:

No. Not to stop it, because that would take the Glory out of the Creator's gift of Free Will, and the Glory out of the trauma's Survival. I exist to stand in the balance to ensure its transcendence. See the strength of that woman, to live through that! The Inconquerable, Indestructable Woman-- that is the true meaning of Virgin. Just as Christ restored the Throne of Bride/Holy Grail Magdalene, releasing her from shame, so too My Love ensures no woman is defeated by this. There are women who have gone through these atrocities and more that still have good character, still find joy and self-esteem, still take care of their children, still don't "twerk by the milk", still don't manipulate men financially, still don't look for government handouts, still don't numb their minds with Love and Hip Hop but instead...still....we.... LOVE-- in the Christ-like, the Buddah-like, the Virgo-like, the Oshun-like sense of Unconditional Love as service to Mankind (shout-out to all my humanity-serving Virgos). Women who go on from rapes and don't just sit on the couch, on food stamps, feeling like the victim but who have business of their own, who get involved with the UN, who visit other countries to hear other women's stories and teach them how to Survive and transcend. Women who don't dry up like a raisin in the sun, her dream deferred. Women who don't hate all men and even all other women because they feel betrayed. But women who are brave and bold enough to Open AGAIN, to Trust again, to Love again, and allow themselves pleasure and give pleasure to others. Women who put a kind smile on to strangers spreading joy frequencies to triumph over the pain instead of the woman sitting behind the McDonald's counter or the doctor's office front desk popping gum stoically and rolling eyes and customers like they owe her something.


The Triumph Of A Heart....is what I AM. The glimmer of hope in every tragedy, the Will to Live that propels forward in any danger, the star still twinkling in the darkest sky, the One Good Memory even the most traumatized individuals can cling to and know the possibility of Peace. I AM the Promise of Peace, the promise of the sweet taste of water after crossing the desert-- I AM the assurance of Spring, I AM the infinite potential of pleasure. I AM the reason to wake up, the thing that makes life worth living. I AM the best reason you can think of NOT to kill yourself, the friend that makes you step back from that ledge, the best meal you ever had that you would request before the Last Mile.


I AM that sweet kiss of redemption when you pray at your deathbed. I AM the gold faerie dust of pollen, fallen over everything proving Life will always endure, renewed, and seeds planted will always take root.

Affirmations for Manifestation

I am powerful beyond measure my abilities and talents are endless i am an intelligent and passionate, creative beacon of Light in the world around me i am helpful and generous, compassionate and encouraging i am love itself, loving and loved i am irresistable and contagious in my joy i give, receive, project, and reflect happiness, peace, and enthusiasm i am purposed and guided by an elevated self towards a miraculous destiny that will impact many i am worthy, i am valuable, i am priceless i am paradise i am abundance I am heaven on earth i am the sexiest and most desireable and most desired i've ever been with every breath, my confidence, joy, and beauty expands i am exactly the person i want to be i am more attractive every day i do exactly what is responsible, beneficial, and helpful with my resources and wealth my body is a clean and inviting temple of purity, cleanliness, order, and bliss I am a fearless vessel for spirit i welcome the gifts of the spirits to speak through me i am confident and courageous, bravely embracing all of myself and bravely taking advantag of opportunities for expansion i am always in the right place at the right time ro receive and recognize great blessings that help myself and all i love i achieve everything i believe everything i believe is real and manifest i speak what i want and i have what i desire i believe in myself I am adept I am an Adept i balance my self confifdence with modesty perfectly i balance self esteem with gracious humility i amass great spiritual and material wealth and maintain stability, peace, and a spirit of humbleness i am resourceful, practical, and endowed with great common sense i have wisdom, perception, intuition, and insight i have excellent memory and am articulate, eloquqent with great ideas that will mobilize people i embrace and accept great opportunities for fun, elevation, learning, and communion i attract people, opportunities, and events to me that lead me to my greatest potential destiny i am a master at life i overcome all obstacles and i master all abilities i am interested in i am everything i want i am everything i love i am everything i need i am a nurturer and healer to myself and the world around me, including my wonderful children who themselves will be healers and leaders i accomplish all my goals and i plan them in vivid detail i make a to do list every day and achieve every objective i plan my actions for flawless execution, yet i allow myself spontanaeity to embrace ecstatic happenings and magical synchronicities because the universe wants to surprise me with the things i love what i visualize, i manifest and bring to life i am healthy in every way i bring health to everyone around me i have the wisdom to create my life i write down my wants, desires, dreams, and needs, and i watch them materialize around me every day i am alive with energy, vitality, and sexuality i am strong i am special i am beautiful and others love to be around me for my kind heart and engaging conversation i am a positive, empowering role model for girls and women i am a beacon of truth and protected by my integrity i learn by taking risks and i am rewarded with many gifts every cell of my body works in perfect harmony and ideal capacity i have more than enough at all times for myself and my loved ones i have so much i am always able to help others i am able to feel fear, know it as a motivator and indicator of the right path, and plunge myself into the action anyway the feeling of fear will always be rpesent to let me know i am strong enough to do exactly what i am faced with i think young and feel young i think helathy and feel healthy i ask as if i expect to get i am an undeniable talent i am a necessary voice my voice is always heard by others in the community and world around me i have complete faith and trust in the universe i am treated with love from everyone whose path i come across i am always safe and i keep my family and children safe i am a protector and providor i am a much loved friend and much admired thinker i am embraced by wonderful, powerful, positive, successful, wealthy people i love being surrponded by intelligent, smart, intellectual, artistic, creative, spiritual, and prosperous people. i love knowing that i amm a writer of words that move and inspire others i am so thankful that my ideas fill books and i am a published author of best selling manuals i help others i love myself i love my life and enjoy it more by the minute i am capable and worthy of love i overcome any falsely perceived i learn more and earn more i am an asset i am a business i own business i balance family, career, and recreation in my life every aspect of my life delights me i am so blessed to do everything i love i am so blessed to do what i enjoy and get paid for it i am so blessed that i have learned so many valuable skills for holistic healing i build self esteem and confidence in others i give and receive so much positive energy every day i am happier and happier every day i am healthier and healthier every day i am free i choose to be happy and i deserve to be happy every day is full of joy, rest, and contentment every day i do evxactly what i want to do as much as i want to i am so thankful all of my needs are met i am so grateful i have love to give i am so grateful i attract only happy, whole, fulfilled people i am so grateful i attract only ecstatic, uplifting, fun, passionate, safe, and exciting occurances i am grateful for everyone who has touched my life and made it worth living being happy and rich comes second nature to me i have always been destined for prosperity everything always works out for me everything always ends up right and happy for me i look at the positive aspect of every experience because i exist, the world has more love in it today every day i breathe, i radiate love that defeats all violence and evil in the world happiness is a journey i immerse myself fearlessly and wholly in every day i am happy i am healed i am a blessing every day my life improves in every wayi am always safe my spiritual guides protect, support, and bless me every step and moment of my life every moment is filled with moving beauty every breath i inhale fills my body with purity, strength, power, and healing i have abundance to spare and to share i am motivated i am a go getter i am an achiever i am a lover i am an artist i am a freedom fighter i a m a liberator i am a leader i am a teacher i am a student i am a master i am a success i am a testimony i live in the moment i am present I AM i release the need to feel approval from others and instead know with gratitude i am amazing and everyone wants to be around me and experience my energy all that i give is returned to me in many wonderful forms i am in the position to live the life i want i joyfully accept blessings of joy and abundance i radiate happiness and peace today is rich with opportunities and i open my heart to receive them my mind is clear and i always make the right choices i understand how billionaires and successful people think and i think accordingly and attract their success to me i deserve all the joy i can imagine joy and laughter overflows from me and everyone around me loves my enthusiasm i radiate passion and sensualitiy i am a child of Love; I reflect luxury and sensuality and everyone is attracted to me the healing of my womb is the healing of all wombs the healing of my heart is the healing of all hearts the healing of my mind is the healing of all minds i have power; i am power i am fluid, living in the moment my partner is the love of my life and center of my universe i receive reciprocal, mutual love, attraction, passion, arousal, and committment from my lover, partner, mate, and spouse i love my children unconditionally and immeasurably; they are secure knowing their mother wants and enjoys them my children and secure and trust in me, excited that they have such a special, fun, and comforting mother my home is a home my family and i are safe and cozy within, with an abundance of land and yard for growing medicinal herbs fruits and vegetables, and healing, cool, fresh, water flowing through every faucet, surrounded by nature and good-hearted neighbors i achieve my goals and dreams quickly and delightedly i am easily able to recall and retain information in my subconscious mind i am free from mind control, programming, and brainwashing, by subliminal triggers that are of any nature that i do not resonate with i am free from trauma and defeat i am a survivor, a victor, and Queen of all around me i only hold onto beliefs that support me , confirm my ori, and make me feel Divine i am the God in me; if i love the Divine, I love myself i create my own luck i remain humble the most important thing in my life is love, humility, and peace i can now create any reality i visualize these affirmations will create thought patterns that will bring me to success these affirmations are now giving me massive success and manifesting what i desire all i need is within me i am now filled with faith, certainty, and confidence i am now confident and assertive my passion is contagious my ideas are groundbreaking others will pay me for what i know others will seek me out from far and wide for positive reasons and for positive acknowledgement i am famous rather than infamous i am well-loved for positive deeds and contributions i am a Light Worker my gratitude is strong and sincere my face now exudes serenity and confidence other perceive that i know exactly who i am and what i'm doing others perceive me as helpful, encouraging, and wonderful to be around i am popular for positive reasons i am well loved in my family and community i am alert, refreshed, and completely relaxed every moment of every day

Choose Love. Choose Life. The Oshun Life.

The Power is within all of us to choose, in every moment, even painful ones, to choose to search and find the Love or the Good in it. Even trials happen to make us stronger, more able to endure in patience, and wiser with better character. Even suffering teaches us to appreciate tenderness and pleasure all the more. The sout, the bitter, the salty teaches us to appreciate all the more the Sweet. And even the smell of flowers ("mas flores Mi Nina") covers the stench of Death-- which has no power to permanently subdue but who is an Elegant and beautiful teacher of Transition, Re-shaping, and Re-Unification.

We reject, scorn, fear, cheat, run from, and regret Death. Yet Death, unlike everything in this world never betrays or disappoints us. She is always waiting, patient, romantic, consistent in Her watch over us....She's the only one you can truly count on to show up. ...and another smaller Faerie voice whispers to me: "yet, also Love..."

Meditation and Prayer 8/2/13

We should know no Duality. We should be fearless to do as Will in the Spirit of Love, the Name of Love, the Act and Deed of Love which is the Vanquisher of all Evil. Just as "no one makes an enemy of Water," all pain, struggle, hate, and evil is nullified by the very presence of surrendering, sweet, feminine, expanding, Universal Love. Doing as we please in the child-like Present-ness and Faith, does not imply or encourage selfish unchecked indulgence in all manner of whims, dark desires, greed, tantrums, whims, and arrogance as the Cold Elite do....I ask to be Courageous, not a Sadist. I ask to BE Life, not to steal it. I ask to be granted Divine Favor after my heart has been proven Worthy, not to "take advantage." I ask to be a Wise and Loving Leader to my Egbe in Orun, my comrades in Heaven, as well as the thirsty hearts on Earth-- yet I ask, my legacy left glowing for my progeny's inheritance, that when I arrive in Heaven, I will be Humble and warmly welcomed into the arms of my Mother, at the feet of Olodumare, the orisha, and touch the hem of the garments of the Christ Man-and-Woman Yashua/Jesus and Magdalene. Amen.

Musing on Sethe, 2013

Scene. Kitchen. 5 pm Sunset, pink silk seeping in through over-the-sink blind slats. Man and Woman at stove, woman backing away as man ignites the flame, minding baby on her hip. She swings the giggling sunset-pink baby girl, two altar shrines of Oshun and Magdalene barely visible, Spirit peeking in the background. The baby girl throws her head back in tickled gut laughter, milk-stained. The Mother quickly and ecstatically kisses the pale neck of the woman-child. Maybe a bit too lingeringly, a bit too sweetly, with an uncomfortably un-noticeable twinge of melancholy the Father subliminally picked up on unawares.

But he didn't know, for he hadn't read, that the Mother was so bittersweetly grateful that her child had no ring around her neck from blade or chain....

Is Cheating Inevitable? Commentary on Jennifer Keitt's radio show

This afternoon, I am listening to a special 2 hour radio block with Jennifer Keitt and Karrine Steffans on Atlanta's Kiss 104fm. The topic is Cheating and The Other Mrs. Below contains my commentary via facebook:

Do I feel cheating is inevitable? The cynical side of me,t he bitter, fearful side, the side fueled by the arrogance and insecurity of the Ego...that side sits, head in hands, defeated, and concedes, "yes", thinking herself unworthy of unconditional love.

Yet, the empowered side of me, the humble and loving side of me, the Oshun side believes that if a woman loves herself unconditionally, passionately, and with nurturing, she will attract a man who will love her the same. The Law of Attraction is real, and speaking into existence, naming and claiming, as the christian mothers used to call it, that is all real. When you truly love yourself, pamper yourself, KNOW yourself, you raise your frequency by BECOMING from within yourself, the kind of woman that deserves to be loved exclusively. In other words, how can you find a man to love all of you, flaws included, and desire YOU if YOU DONT KNOW YOU, if YOU don't love you. If you are sitting looking at the magazines, feeling insecure about the next woman, succumbing to the pressures of media Idealization, you are sending out signals to the universe that you feel the OTHER woman (whether down the street in booty shorts or on the magazine or red carpet) is better than you and more deserving of the male gaze or even YOUR man's gaze. then you subconsciously defeat yourself before you even begin. you begin to emit an odor of insecurity that men subtly pick up on and take advantage of. the other thing is, people only do what you allow or what you make them believe you'll allow. if you love yourself fully, you will let every man know before you are even intimate with you, how much you are worth and that you are NOT worthy of being cheated on because you are INVALUABLE, PRICELESS. then from the get go, he will know you are not the one to disrespect and he will feel by the confidence you give out, that you are worth keeping exclusively. but it starts from within, your mentality, your come across, your charm, your confidence, your conviction. it starts with you building a firm foundation of esteem so that you won't worry about "rejection" and cling to unworthy cheating men out of desperation because on that firm foundation, you'll stand secure knowing that the man who loves you like YOU love you is out there and you WILL attract him into your life because HE exists because YOU exist and if you are his divine reflection, he must come to you to find his reflection. but if you reflect "raggedy" men by condescending to a raggedy level trying to keep up with the loose women of the streets, you'll never be the wife lain on satin sheets. 

Women need to be PLEASABLE! Men run from bitter, complaining, frigid, demanding, unsatisfied women. Teach your men how to please you. Here's a secret Ladies, men WANT to please women, they are turned on MORE by knowing you are satisfied. If you are faking orgasm or constantly making him feel like he's not doing it right or always rejecting him and turning over, he will take his insecurities to the next woman who may pretend he's the king of the universe for those few moments. Women need to work to get themselves in order to leave their men unable to cheat. I told my husband "I am doing everything-- and I mean everything-- that I know the next woman can and will do. So I am leaving you NO excuse, NO good reason to cheat. If you still cheat, after I have done everything to please you, I know I have done my part and all my Wifely duties and at the end of the day YOU will have to deal with YOUR conscience and your God with what you know you did that you had no reason to" Since then, neither of us have cheated. "What you won't do, the next woman will" was a phrase my Mama said that always stuck with me and I determined never to let that be me.

You also have to have a man MATURE enough to know it is wrong to cheat even IF and when he does it. A man who knows with no illusion at the end of the day that the Other Woman is just a fantasy, not a reality. Let him know YOU the Wife or Main Woman you are the REAL THING!

Crystal Relationships: Fluorite, Exorcising the Ego, and Expansion

For about 3 years now I have used Yoni Eggs.

featured here on my altar that includes Mary Maagdalene's meditation box with the red rosary and Rose Quartz Yoni Egg, and Paquet for Shilibo made by my dear friend and mentor Karma Zain...and my Spiral Tarot :)

These amazing tools of shamanism and excercise are usually referred to as Jade Eggs, because Jade was the stone most widely used for its properties so powerfully corresponding to All-Purpose Women's Healing. The stones do, in recent times, come in an abundance of crystal and gemstone choices. Some of my favorites come from The lovely JewelzOfComfort Etsy store. I feel the Shop Owner to be an encouraging and uplifting Kindred. Today I want to talk about the wonders of  the Fluorite egg I ordered from her shop. Of course you know this substance is not fluoride the posion brain altering ADHD causing death flowing through your faucets that must be avoided at all costs however possible…but that’s another story…

Fluorite is a girl’s best friend. Well, this girl at least. This woman. This Womb of mine now purring like a single mother on a Calgon getaway at a luxurious tantric massage spa paid for as a gift by her bestie. I've noticed using my large rose quartz yoni egg helped me open to trust my lover more on a subtly influential level, helping me also to open my heart more and thus my womb, also instantaneously stopping the mystery of bleeding that used to occur every time I made love. But there were still more layers of healing to go through.

**photo courtesy my beautiful fellow SLC alumni Jasmine Burems at Honey and Gold

The medium Carnelian egg was a playful but stablizing and excitable fire friend inside me, increasing my desire….

...but the moment I slid the beautiful sea-green and ocean-blue swirling fluorite inside my yoni, I felt water.

my Fluorite snuggled in Moon's custom Rose Quartz wrap bracelet

Literally. I felt an almost cool, refreshing, swishing and swirling sensation almost of a cleansing soothing motion….I felt a huge increase in my sensitivity. It was almost unbearable at times because I would feel even the subtlest movements and a wave of arousal would come over me but not a burning frustrated aching desire but a yummy, sensual, languishing desire….I noticed great increase in lubrication during lovemaking the same day/night and so did my mate. I noticed I was also more sensitive and more easily gently and quickly aroused with my his member inside me. Now even the slightest touch gives me chills and sweetness gushes. I noticed also I could feel more wetness on the inside, the location of my g spot was much more obvious, I could easily feel pressing on it and a squishy feeling I’d never felt before and waves of uncontrollable laughter as well as the urge to block/hold pee would come (which, often confused, isn't pee-- it is the Holy Elixer of Life, the Amrita that is Female Ejaculatory fluid)….

...and I suddenly realized many years I have resisted pleasure, I haven’t trusted it, because this same feeling of surrender, of forced submission, of uncontrollable laughter that brings the urge to pee was TICKLING. As a child I found this frustrating, invasive, and traumatic when tickled because I felt my body wasn’t my own, I felt violated, small compared to the big adult holding me, held against my will, and that my reaction even though seemingly jovial was unwilling…but in the context of a relationship I'm in now where I feel safe to expand and trust and give my body over, I can let that unchecked, un-self conscious laughter and joy out that was strangled in the throat of my twisted childhood where lines were often blurred between adult tenderness and outright predatory molestation.

For awhile now, I notice my understanding of expansion has been internalized and associated physically and psycho-sexually with handing myself over, as the agony/ecstasy sung about in Bjork’s "Pagan Poetry". In my most intense orgasmic moments, I notice it is during an internal dialogue, an internal battle wherein I feel sometimes my lover is the knight and I am the damsel who resists being a conquest. One of the most powerful orgasmic moments early in the relationship...I felt the pleasure through the pain, the point of surrender, literally being loved into submission, but, trembling and resisting with all my might, “running”, all my muscles taut with guardedness, I screamed in my mind “why do you have to take all of that, all of me?!” from the depths of my soul. The healing and enlightening orgasm only arrived when I finally broke and surrendered, not caring about the "gender politics", him "judging me", or subconscious programmed "guilt" over some false feeling of being "too open" or "too loose" connected to being raised with the concept of being a composed Lady... I notice the more I feel myself giving into my love for him, the unconditional, serving, forgiving love despite my ego, I feel a battle, a shattering, as my ego feels threatened by having to “hand myself over”, or let him “take” something from me, due to past assumptions and programs about men’s superiority complexes…It's almost as if denying my ecstasy was somehow letting me “win” or somehow if I gave into my ecstasy at his hands I was somehow “weaker” as a woman and letting him “have the upper hand” which is a fallacy, an illusion that keeps many women from reaching full orgasmic potential. 

“I can’t let him see how crazy he makes me feel cuz then he’ll know he ‘got’ me”…why is this a problem? 

Oh. That’s right. 

Only because these girls have degraded themselves to empty relationships with casual dusty common niggas who will take advantage of you in such a vulnerable orgasmic state, instead of being joined in the alchemy of Divine marriage or Sacred committed union. 

At each level, I open wider, my legs, my mind, my heart, my soul…to him, to love, to bliss, to Spirit, to Source, to God/dess. I am the vessel—his, my ancestors’, and the divinities’….I open wider and I feel more and hand over more of me, or really of my ego or illusion of separation (as opposed to loving sense of selfless Oneness and Unity)….

I give more of what I’m afraid to give. I show more that I’m embarrassed to reveal. Only in truth and ugliness can true liberation and acceptance be found. If you’re making wild, maenad, demoness, excorcist faces during the throes of ecstasy don’t be embarrassed. That is the real you. The honest you. Are babies self-conscious? Do babies wonder with shame what their faces look like when they sneeze or cry or yawn or laugh? Just be you. Just BE. Experience your orgasm without resistance, without shame, and trust your partner’s love for you or better yet your love for YOURSELF because the man you have now, good or bad, is the man YOU chose for yourself on a conscious or subconscious level. Your frequency has subtly attracted this man to you so whatever he is, is in you as well. Our partners reflect parts of ourselves so we must take care and be mindful of who we intertwine our lives with because it could say more about YOU than them…. 7:07pm 3/5/13

Lessons in Giving

I want hands all over me, reverently, adoringly; I want kisses caressing me, cherishing…but I want as well to give you the same.

I cannot stand the things I don’t say…

I should have stopped you there. I keep hoping every time will be better than the last time. And sometimes the next time is better than the last time…but really I let you even though I know I’m not ready and that I don’t want to because I’d hate to refuse you and give you the excuse to search for another…but truly because I keep hoping every time will be THE time, the time I shake, the time I squirt, the time I see God.

But it never is. And I know it could be so much better. And I keep telling you, softly imploring you, hinting at you…to please please me. To take the time, not just take your time. The times I need you to go slow and open me gently and completely, you go fast, break rhythm, pound too soon leaving my sacredness bruised. The times I pray you’ll speed up, you’re either right there at my spot and I’m close to cumming if only you’d slam relentlessly into Her because She’s ready but you don’t and the feeling fades—that, or I’m just praying for it to quickly be over because I don’t want to pretend but I also don’t want you to recognize the boredom in my face and, besides, my legs are tired from staying up that high.

Why can’t we look into each other’s eyes, get to really see? Why won’t you let me, let me, let me softly kiss and lick and rub you up and down—and you do me the same?

I don’t know what of me I resent the most: my lack of courage to say, to admit, I just want to stop and that I feel nothing…or my heart so big and my care for your fragile ego so much that I’d hate to place the shame in your heart of knowing you’re not as much as you thought.

...

                This is a journal entry from an anonymous repressed woman, a woman with desires that has kept quiet to "keep the peace." This is a woman’s cry for help, for intimacy from her mate. Unfortunately, this is a silent cry for help. This will remain an unanswered cry for help, deepening her resentment and bitterness, until the time she feels she should open up and bravely admit these things out loud in the light of day, cards on the table, to herself and her man. If a woman does finally make her feelings known to her man and he still seems not to catch on, how does the dissatisfaction resolve itself?

Lessons in giving:

Give to your love what you’d want them to give to you…do unto others as you would have them do unto you…love each other as yourself. But this of course has no merit if one does not absolutely powerfully love oneself completely first! Be your own lover. Try sensual rituals with yourself where you love and cherish and caress and arouse yourself. You can’t learn how to seduce and intoxicate someone else if you don’t know what causes arousal in yourself, let alone another. You also can’t show someone how to seduce and intoxicate you with their touch if, again, you yourself don’t know what excites you…what do you feel like when you’re aroused? What do you feel like when you’re writing in ecstatic anticipation? What do you feel like when languishing in a sweet smelling and luxurious bath, running your hands softly over all of your body—getting to know yourself? You have to be able to respond to your touch before you can truly have the body sensitivity to respond to someone else…also, you have to be able to know what touch of yours incites a reaction before you can expect someone else to respond, ecstatically and not just respond in revulsion, aggravation, or agony…now shock is another arena, and can be tantalizingly delicious, but you don’t want to tow the line between making a lover gasp in pleasant surprise and making them collapse into hyperventilating tears or screaming and running for the hills.

When you feel frustrated that your lover is not giving you the thrill you expect or crave, a great turn of the tables and what may be an unexpected way to actually get what you want is indeed to GIVE IT! The law of attraction maintains that what is put out is received. If you are giving out neediness and lack of satisfaction, you will undoubtedly and inevitably continue to manifest it. If you give satisfaction and pleasure, your frequency maintains a level in the sphere of bliss and love even if—especially if—it is someone else experiencing it at your service. The great Christ Yashua or Jesus and his consort Mary Magdalene are two perfect embodiments of this empowering servitude. [insert: the alabaster jar initiation which allowed, in turn, Jesus to more fully give of himself to the world]

So give exactly what you want to your lover and it will be returned to you. Kiss them the way you want to be kissed; lick their collarbone, nibble their nipples, caress and rub and suck all the parts of them as if it were yourself. Even outside the bedroom—serve them decadent drinks, cook expertly for them and feed them comfortingly, assist them in cleaning up, draw their bath, open their door (ladies even you can open the door for your man especially when he has his arms full of heavy boxes or both hands full of those trash bags you don’t want to take out!) but give them also compassion, empathy, an open ear, hugs, compliments, encouragement, honesty, truth, and education.

I know you might say “forget him! He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t take all that special time and effort for me so why should I do it for him?” precisely because he does not. You need to give him a reason to see you are worthy of that attention.

The woman in her naturally surrendering state (surrendering, NOT submissive) is meant to literally “love you to life”.

She, Woman, is the maker of kings. Her thighs are the doorways to initiation into the Mysteries of Wisdom’s Grace and Compassion’s Strength.

She, Wom(b)an, is Water Bearer, washer of head and foot with the tears of Mother and Lover; Sweet Healer adorns one’s head to beautifully bear a heavy, stinging crown.

Like Mary Magdlene,  woman’s service of love is the highest and noblest power known to man. It awakens one’s greatest strength and potential. It literally makes kings and prophets of men like Jesus/Yashua, like Shango who received his crown and kingdom from Oshun, like any king from the beginning of time has received his blessing of installation to the throne from women or mothers. Even if not their own mother, every woman by virtue of having a womb is a mother even if she has not borne her own physical children. The womb is the potential for creation of all kinds.

Conception is more than just the first stages in a child’s growth and development, the birth of a human being…conception can also be another kind of phenomenon: it is the ecstatic epiphany, divine inspiration towards the carrying out or manifestation of an idea. An idea is indeed a Concept—hence, conception. Many regard this term as only applying to pregnancy, however, its truth is in understanding that it speaks of creation from a thought. The Big Bang theory. Our thoughts are very powerful. Science has proven thoughts affect circumstances and spiritual teachers have taught “as within, so without” or rather what one imagines or cultivates from the inside will reflect on the outside.

Thus, again, the law of attraction. If a woman cultivates and masters love from her inside—loving herself, pampering herself, loving her womb enough to make it healthy and vibrant and clean through yoni exercises, right eating and living—she will all the more radiate love to everyone and everything around her. Then everyone around her will be compelled to give that love back—maybe not directly to her, but at least to someone or something around them—and literally send love all around the world in subtly increasing degrees. It takes one to enact change—“be the change you want to see the world” like the old saying: “show and prove”….show that you are capable of giving all the love and affection possible, and the universe and everyone around you will show that, yes, you deserve to receive back all the love and affection possible in divine reflection and you will receive it. “give and it will come back to you/good measure/ press down/ shaken together/ and running over” 

A woman’s service of love is multi-faceted: it is at once a lover’s love, a wife’s love, a friend’s love, sometimes even a child’s love if a woman really admires her lover and respects him as a man who can mutually care for and teach her similar to a father figure. But the most important aspect of a woman’s love is the maternal love. This is not to be confused or taken the wrong way: this does not mean treat a man like a child or YOUR child. This does not mean talk down to him or nag him or instruct him what to do. This does not mean give him harsh words, criticism, or insult his intelligence.  A man does not want to marry his mother—Freud was a Eurocentric pervert whose doctrines do not apply to the indigenous Afrikan or otherwise non-european mind so we need to stop applying his sick theories to people of color when it only speaks to a culturally informed psychological profile evolved over many centuries of euro-centric circumstances.

A man does not want to marry his mother, yet he wants a woman to be maternal. This means nurturing, giving, devoted, unconditionally loving, patient, indulging, and comforting. This maternal love is what will bring the greatness out of this man. Like your mother, when she loves you sweetly and believes in you and supports you and guides you gently to grow and gives you a safe accepting place to be yourself—don’t you want to make her proud? Don’t you want to do the best for her to live up to her best image of you? This is what happens when a man receives love from a woman that cares for him (this doesn’t mean CARRY him when you know he is just sitting on his ass and deliberately casting his burdens onto and INTO you) and believes in him—not one that points her finger in his face and snaps her neck and rolls her eyes and says “nigga you aint shit!” all the time while simultaneously holding her hand out for her “bills bills bills” to be paid.

A man comes to his greatness with the encouragement of a great woman—the true embodiment of the biblical “help meet”…hence HELP, hence assistance, hence service. [proverbs 31]

Women, it takes more strength to serve than to command. Takethe note from Destiny’s Child: Cater to your man and he’ll cater to you!

Who What Why....Name and Intent

Gloria was my given name. The Glory. Glorious. Evocation of Supreme, indeed, Divine heights. Glory Glory Hallelujah.

 According to Kabalarians, just the name would indicate:

•   Your first name of Gloria gives you a poised, gracious, and reserved nature. 
•  You are capable and clever and would excel in executive positions. 
•  As you are a private person, it is a challenge for others to get to know and understand you. 
• Your reticence has caused you to suffer aloneness and misunderstandings. 
•  You would like to be easy-going and spontaneous but it does not come easily. 
•  You can express yourself better through writing than verbally. 
•  The mysteries of life appeal to you in your search for an understanding of the greater picture of life. 
•  You love to read and can develop great powers of concentration. 
•  There is also an over-sensitivity in the heart, lungs, and bronchial organs which could lead to related health weaknesses.

...which all seems very accurate.

 Marie was my middle name, already at my birth connecting me to the Great Mother and the Great Whore, embodied by Mary Mother of Yashua (otherwise known as Jesus) and Mary Beloved Consort-Wife of Yashua.

 Bunmi is more than just a given spiritual name, determined by Ifa’s casting; it is now not only some “new personality” or alter-ego—it is indeed my Brand. Bunmi is Yoruba for The Gift [of/from...]. I must carry myself as a Gift to humanity, a gift is something bestowed upon, something inherited sometimes, something given as great sacrifice, something that, like the essence of all that is Yeye Osun, what makes life worth living.

My Mission, you may ask? I had never thought about any concreted, accurately definable plan or purpose. However, I recently sent a message out to a Sister in the Holistic Community and found as my fingers hit the keys, some feelings I'd never even addressed within myself came pouring out and I realized I'd just articulated some of what I felt, feel, and strive for in my organization. An excision from the letter follows:

  I read your mission statement and I felt your words as if they were my own. I know you are a kindred spirit, a Healing Woman like me. "I am my Sister's Liberator" is a beautiful affirmation and I know you won't mind if I use this is my daily manifestations :) I'd like to invite you to check out a campaign I'm running to come up with a fantastic sexual and reproductive health product just for Black women specifically. I am a sexual and holistic health counselor and sensuality coach. I too am a very spiritual woman, exploring the Divine Feminine archetypes across many different races, cultures, tribes, and aeons. I have long desired to connect with, understand, and help heal my fellow Sisters sexual and psychologically as well as spiritually and emotionally. I'm glad to see since the 2012 Ascension, so many more synchronicities are at work manifesting to confirm that it is now time for the Women of Earth and the Wombniverse to rise! I hope you'll join me in continuing to help our Sisters....

As I re-read that small paragraph, I realized this was very appropriate for this blog to present my intention and my Vision for The Honeyed Labyrinth Spiritual Services and The Oshun Lifestyle.

Welcome: At the door of Elation

I am a Wife, a Mother of Three in a blended family, Relationship Counselor, Tantrika, Doula-in-training, Initiate into the Red Rose Magdalene Mysteries, and Daughter of Orisha. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and rape. I have taken an extraordinarily humbling journey to healing from the trauma and re-aligning with my ancestral strength and traditional paths of spirituality. I have taken many routes to sexual healing which include psychotherapy in a typical Western format, holistic sexual coaching and guidance from several beautiful teachers, spiritual ritual and deity evocation, guided meditations and empowering daily affirmations, transitions to an organic diet, as well as ancient herbal and superfood remedies. 

I look forward now to sharing with my fellow Women of Earth-- and minorities who typically wouldn't have the cultural or economic access to this information in particular-- a combination of the methods that have healed me from sexual trauma, sexual dis-ease, and sexual shame. This is why I have established The Oshun Lifestyle Services and Products. The Oshun Lifestyle is more than just another lifestyle coaching service; it's more than empowerment or sensual counseling: here, you not only receive the compassionate and discerning ear to pour out your heart's concerns with confidence-- you receive healing products to help you achieve tangible results beyond merely hearing the information. 

At The Oshun Lifestyle, a division of Honeyed Labyrinth Spiritual Services, you will find a multitude of paths to Ultimate Bliss! You will find out how to become the Glowing Goddess, the Golden Lady, you were born to be, inside and out! Find the ways to cultivate your highest beauty from literally the ground up. You can find living food nutritional information and recipes on how to make delicious and transformational meals that activate and balance chakras, cleanse you of illnesses, boost your sex drive, and make your body the ideal environment for the conscious conception, carrying, and birthing of radiant Light-Children. You can also receive ancient secrets from Queen Cleopatra VII and other Lotus Women of Kemet (Egypt), tips on the ultimate seduction techniques for wives to keep their men at home from the Driankes of Senegal, mind-blowing orgasmic expansion methods from Tantric Dakinis of India, as well as ways to attain immortality by pleasing your man and raising your frequency via the art of fellatio known only by the disciplined and mysterious White Tigresses of Japan. These true treasures of information and pearls of wisdom are only still a few services The Oshun Lifestyle provides. 

The Oshun Lifestyle integrates the spiritual with the sexual, the Holy with the Healthy, the body with the heart. This is an ideal way to enhancing the whole self: letting the healing take place internally and externally equally. Using interactive blogging and exclusive video lessons, I seek to provide more than just a voice on the phone or boring, faceless literature. I seek to accompany all of my book excerpts and reading materials with visual supplements that are engaging and demonstrative. I also seek to accompany all of my products with visual assurance of its quality by showing you how they are made and what with. Goddess Exercise and Sensual dance videos will be integrated with cited evidence on the benefits of such sacred movements-- in other words, you'll find out there's actually a good reason to roll some hips for safer, more pleasurable lovemaking and easier pregnancies ;) The Oshun Lifestyle blog and site will continue to provide you these and much more as we continue to evolve into the production of my exclusive women's formula, the publication of my Oshun book series, into the establishment of my birthing center, and above and beyond the fulfillment of the stretch of my dreams for women's health.

Join me in my expanding journey to...well...expansion! Join me in living the Orgasm, living The Oshun Lifestyle!