Do I feel cheating is inevitable? The cynical side of me,t he bitter, fearful side, the side fueled by the arrogance and insecurity of the Ego...that side sits, head in hands, defeated, and concedes, "yes", thinking herself unworthy of unconditional love.
Yet, the empowered side of me, the humble and loving side of me, the Oshun side believes that if a woman loves herself unconditionally, passionately, and with nurturing, she will attract a man who will love her the same. The Law of Attraction is real, and speaking into existence, naming and claiming, as the christian mothers used to call it, that is all real. When you truly love yourself, pamper yourself, KNOW yourself, you raise your frequency by BECOMING from within yourself, the kind of woman that deserves to be loved exclusively. In other words, how can you find a man to love all of you, flaws included, and desire YOU if YOU DONT KNOW YOU, if YOU don't love you. If you are sitting looking at the magazines, feeling insecure about the next woman, succumbing to the pressures of media Idealization, you are sending out signals to the universe that you feel the OTHER woman (whether down the street in booty shorts or on the magazine or red carpet) is better than you and more deserving of the male gaze or even YOUR man's gaze. then you subconsciously defeat yourself before you even begin. you begin to emit an odor of insecurity that men subtly pick up on and take advantage of. the other thing is, people only do what you allow or what you make them believe you'll allow. if you love yourself fully, you will let every man know before you are even intimate with you, how much you are worth and that you are NOT worthy of being cheated on because you are INVALUABLE, PRICELESS. then from the get go, he will know you are not the one to disrespect and he will feel by the confidence you give out, that you are worth keeping exclusively. but it starts from within, your mentality, your come across, your charm, your confidence, your conviction. it starts with you building a firm foundation of esteem so that you won't worry about "rejection" and cling to unworthy cheating men out of desperation because on that firm foundation, you'll stand secure knowing that the man who loves you like YOU love you is out there and you WILL attract him into your life because HE exists because YOU exist and if you are his divine reflection, he must come to you to find his reflection. but if you reflect "raggedy" men by condescending to a raggedy level trying to keep up with the loose women of the streets, you'll never be the wife lain on satin sheets.
Women need to be PLEASABLE! Men run from bitter, complaining, frigid, demanding, unsatisfied women. Teach your men how to please you. Here's a secret Ladies, men WANT to please women, they are turned on MORE by knowing you are satisfied. If you are faking orgasm or constantly making him feel like he's not doing it right or always rejecting him and turning over, he will take his insecurities to the next woman who may pretend he's the king of the universe for those few moments. Women need to work to get themselves in order to leave their men unable to cheat. I told my husband "I am doing everything-- and I mean everything-- that I know the next woman can and will do. So I am leaving you NO excuse, NO good reason to cheat. If you still cheat, after I have done everything to please you, I know I have done my part and all my Wifely duties and at the end of the day YOU will have to deal with YOUR conscience and your God with what you know you did that you had no reason to" Since then, neither of us have cheated. "What you won't do, the next woman will" was a phrase my Mama said that always stuck with me and I determined never to let that be me.
You also have to have a man MATURE enough to know it is wrong to cheat even IF and when he does it. A man who knows with no illusion at the end of the day that the Other Woman is just a fantasy, not a reality. Let him know YOU the Wife or Main Woman you are the REAL THING!
