--Anita Baker
Being a mother, there's alot I learn from my children, lessons of reflection in which a mother recognizes her misdeeds through her children. When we were young our mothers would say "aight now, your child's gon end up being that way with you"...and we didn't believe it. Ha ha.
Also lessons of freedom--ecstasy at just one's toes being touched, boundless laughter incited by the wiggling of a nose, waking up smiling every morning for no particular reason, not caring or worrying about anything, immediately and contentedly adaptable, completely without judgement. If my child does not shame me, what makes me think my ancestors are ashamed of me? Live your life in ways that make your children proud and your ancestors will be proud.
Children teach us a great deal of things about fearlessness: Yesterday I watched my adventurous, acrobatic, always laughing daughter fall off the bed. She cried more out of being startled at the actual fall than really hurt by it. After I smiled at her, she smiled back as if she’d never been hurt.
Our hearts must be just as the child: open, without fear or expectation of hurt. We must Love as if we’ve never been hurt before, treat each new person we meet by the virtue of their first impression, not making assumptions based on what other people did or how they behaved previously. Jesus implores us in the Bible to be “child-like”. This, mind you, is not to be understood, interpreted, or considered the same as childish, rather trusting, open, loving, as children are. The Heart Open to Love again and again, no matter how much it has beeen hurt or how many times stabbed, this is the true Mystery of Christ's and Mary's Sacred Heart burning.
Babies, with their fatty, flexible, pliable bodies, surprisingly are proven get hurt less because they don’t expect to. Simple as that. As human, the more we grow “older”, the more we program ourselves to fear: meaning, as we get older, because we have felt the pain of getting a scraped knee or the sting of a slap, we build up more body armoring (see: Kinsey and Dr. Wilhelm Reich) subconsciously that causes us to withdraw to ever so miniscule degrees. A baby, fresh into the world, we must remember, has never felt anything before. Everything is new. Every sensation is its first time. So babies do not expect to fall, they don’t expect to be rejected, to fail, they never expect you to drop them or hurt them.
When you expect a blow or a sensation of pain, you tense up automatically. Psychological studies have proven that many times the mind sends messages to the body of sensations of pain before a person actually comes into contact with the object supposed to hurt it! Did you know the brain may trick you into feeling the prick of a needle at the doctor’s office before it even breaks the skin, especially if you are particularly and obsessively terrified by it? It is the same even for many women during sex who have been abused, molested, and had rough, painful intercourse with men before: their bodies and wombs clench up and body amouring occurs wherein orgasm and healing is never achieved. If we relax and be open, that is the child-like way to find Ecstasy. There are many love songs that proclaim “Girl, you got me open” “boy, my nose wide open”…..notice these terms describe that sense of letting go that is so fundamental to Oshun’s Love and Her flowing, watery, feminine nature. Being Open is so vital, opening up to achieve orgasm, that many tantric teachers admonish men to massage a woman for hours before intercourse just to loosen the muscles from literally years of unconscious, unacknowledged tension all over the body and in the womb.
When women come into sexual union with their Divine Mates, if he is truly your King-Man to respect and honor you and understands your history of abuse, ladies be not afraid to open yourself to him completely like the blooming flower. That’s the thing: true sex and orgasm is made Divine between two REAL, trusting partners in a state of Heart-led connecting and understanding. However, most men and women these days engage in casual sex with strangers they can’t trust and therefore cheat themselves. When you find a man that is worthy and has shown you true affection and you know after time tried and tested that you can trust him, that is the time you will be ready to engage in Sacred Lovemaking with him and not a moment before. SO many women rush into sharing their bodies with vultures, swine, dogs, and vampires of men who drain and degrade them without taking the time to know them. Women must realize it is okay to be alone, it is even okay to explore your own body alone in Ecstatic Self-Pleasure until you have properly found and tested the Right Mate. Don’t feel so “horny” or so anxious for sex that you say “girl, I just got to have it” and just go out and give it up to the first man that winks your way. Pamper and love YOURSELF even if it is weeks or months you may be getting to know a gentleman. Perform your sacred bath rituals, meditations, orgasmic yoga, self touch and self massage rituals, or go out to a spa, go shopping, all of the things that make you feel like the Queen you are with no one else around. While you have been busy giving all this love to yourself, you have also shown the man you are getting to know how much you are worth and how much love you deserve. Then, after patience, you can comfortably and openly trust him to engage in Sacred Lovemaking when he has finally shown himself worthy through courtship and you have gotten to know your own body enough to know how to teach him what pleases you. And you can be sure that when you finally do Open to him, you will have that fullness of child-like, Open Love that will enable you to trust him just as if no man had ever hurt you before.
No comments:
Post a Comment